Picture of You

What does it mean when I find it difficult to look at a photo of you?
It's that same sensation that I used to feel
Back when things were different

Is it me avoiding the truth?
Was it always there and I was afraid of it?
I always thought it was because something was missing

If it was as it currently is, I should have been wanting to look at your photo
I used to try and I would say 'no'
Was it a 'no, it can't be'?
Can't be because it doesn't make it sense?
Can't be because it's really not?
Can't be because I'm scared?

It still doesn't make sense
I still try to look at your photo
And I do, sometimes, just like I did back then
Now I say 'I can't believe it'
Can't believe because I still can't make sense of it, how?
Can't believe because I still can't understand, why?
Can't believe because I've faced my fears, what is it?


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Writer's Notes:

Now I don't know how to finish this. I am accustomed to wrapping things up, just like an essay, but this is not an essay. And maybe, more likely, because I haven't figured out how this goes.

What a cheesy title.