Silly Mistakes

It happens...

Read the article, at least he knew how to laugh about it.

http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/blog/the_dagger/post/The-ugliest-missed-free-throw-you-ve-ever-seen?urn=ncaab,218461

Repost: Living a healthy life at 56

Some nice tips.

***

Living a healthy life at 56
FROM THE HEART By Gina Lopez
(The Philippine Star) Updated February 02, 2010 12:00 AM


Over the past few days, I have come to realize that at the age of 56 I am actually much healthier and happier than when I was 18! Oh, my bone density tests could be better and I am working on that; but overall, I just feel soooo much better. I am on to a recipe that is working — and which I aim to keep up to the time I will graciously bid this world goodbye.

Diet

I keep away from overly fatty foods like pork, deep-fried stuff or dishes swimming in oil. It just doesn’t feel healthy. Keeping the body alkaline is the rule of thumb. But hey — I do enjoy cheese, especially goat cheese... but overall I try to eat really healthy. I have even come across ice cream made from coconut milk — and no sugar but agarve syrup called Coconut Bliss. You can get it at Healthy Options. You must try the coffee and cappuccino flavor. Heavenly is the word and it’s wonderfully healthy! Even my candy is healthy. I have bags of Citrus Vitamin C candy (also from Healthy Options) that I keep in the car and at home, since I do have a sweet tooth. I keep away from white sugar (whenever possible) and white flour. I love the French Village Bread in Santis, and I have a preference for rye over wheat. Oh — you have to try these cinnamon donuts (also at Healthy Options): gluten free, dairy free and very yummy! I didn’t even tell Rommy Sia that I was going to promote his products — but yes, I often do rack up a bill there. I make it a point to read the ingredients of everything I buy — trying my level best to keep away from chemicals. It just does not make sense to wantonly and irresponsibly load your system with junk.

I detox at least once a year — which means just taking supplements or juice to rid the body of accumulated toxins. I sit in an infrared sauna with color therapy at least once a week. It detoxes and energizes. If I go to the esteros, then I go right after; I do not mind going to gunky places, but I do not want to get sick. And some of these creeks are horribly bad.

Vitamins

I take lots and lots of vitamin C, ordinarily 3,000 mgs. When I go to the esteros I double that — and if I am feeling under the weather, I go up to 8,000 mgs. I also take calcium, vitamin D and zinc. My doctor friend says that zinc is essential if my body is to absorb all these vitamins I am taking.

Medicine

I don’t like taking pharmaceuticals. When my children or I get sick I have it worked out to a T and it hasn’t failed me yet. Even my household staff follows the same regimen. On the first sign of discomfort, I take echinacea (an herb medicine): four tablets on an empty stomach and in between meals at least twice a day. I take heavy doses of garlic: either three cloves of garlic with the meal, or garlic supplements. What also works is Kyoli — this is a mushroom and garlic supplement to be taken after the meal. What also helps are the nanotechnology sprays I get from Dr. Chat Austria (call 724-3242). One is for chemicals and the other is for bacteria. The sprays are amazing. They can take the place of chelation (treatment to remove heavy metals from the body), and they can even be sprayed topically. Over the holidays my tooth started throbbing and the dentist said that I should have a root canal. So I sprayed it every three hours on my aching tooth, gargled with healing salt crystals and warm water. I did the whole bit with echinacea and vitamin C — and in two days my tooth is now completely well. It works.

When my children can’t breathe, I boil onions and let them inhale the steam. I don’t like the smell, but it does clear the head and nasal passages.

Bees Machine

I have this machine by Serafin Oriwella. It won the gold medal at a United Nations event. The machine transmits positive ions. What Serafin says is that disease is due to an imbalance of ions in the body — so whatever the problem is, applying the machine to the body addresses the imbalance. In October of last year, the father of my kids’ friend — his name is Sona — had a severe case of gallstones. He was in pain and was bedridden. So he came to my home and I asked a therapist from Dr. Oriwella’s clinic to come. The next day, Sona was up and about — enough to make the trip with us to India! When my children are not well, I apply the machine together with my arsenal of health things — and the results speak for themselves. When the son of Reach — the technical head of Kapit Bisig — was reeling from abdominal pain, the doctors at St. Luke’s and Medical City couldn’t figure out the problem. So he came to the house, and the therapist of Dr. Oriwella applied the machine. In half an hour, the child was well. It works. (Dr. Oriwella’s cell number is 0917-9181245.)

Healing Crystals

This is salt that has been exposed to 196-centigrade temperatures for 94 hours by Dr. Rey Viloria. He is the doctor at our resettlement site in Caluan. It’s very inexpensive and it works. I brush my teeth with it to keep the bacteria out. When I had a cough that wasn’t going away, I decided to gargle with the salt twice a day — and in three days the cough went away. Amazing. When my teeth were giving me trouble, I applied salt and the pain went away. When Sona’s teeth were hurting he did the same thing and the pain went away. So now, I carry salt with me in my bag. I use it for everything. Even eating. It is purified and energized salt and beats the Celtic Salt from France I used to buy from the health food stores — and it’s just a few hundred pesos. (Dr. Rey’s number is 0908-7328777.)

Exercise

I do yoga exercises daily, but this is more to keep me peaceful and prepare me for meditation. Then I work out two to three times a week. Weight-bearing exercises are good for the bones. I have a yoga teacher who comes twice a week. But over the past week I have stumbled across what is called a Cellexerciser — which is a rebounder or a mini trampoline, but built much better. Sturdier. Safer for the body. This has been superb! The instructions said start with one minute — but I got bored, so I went right up to 10 minutes and it was wonderful! I watched the DVD that went with it. The inventor David Hall has well-developed abs, biceps, is attractively lean — and he did this all with just 10 minutes a day! Then I read the book — full of testimonials from people who have slimmed hips, thighs, improved their eyesight — addressed health problems with just 10 minutes a day! So I have been doing 10 to 15 minutes for the past 10 days, and the results are amazing!

I already have a lot of energy — but this boosted my energy level up even further. I also sleep better. I had a tingling sensation in my left arm, which has been greatly reduced. In short I am experiencing a wonderful sense of well-being, which came after only the first session! Contact Rica Villalon, 0917-8397839. She can deliver it to your house. Or look up Cellexerciser on the net to give you a clearer understanding. What got me attracted to it is the “only 10 minutes a day”!

Sleep

The quality of one’s sleep is vital. There have been days when I am on a high the whole day — but by the time evening comes around, I am so tired I sleep tired. Then I wake up tired. So what has worked for me is soaking in a hot bath at the end of a stressful day — topping that with a cold shower and not watching TV or working on the computer before I sleep. I meditate and relax each part of my body, thus going into a deep, peaceful space — and waking up much more refreshed even if I haven’t slept for many hours.

Protect Yourself From Your Phone

I have a gadget that I put in the back of my BlackBerry called IProtect. I also have phone shields given to me by a German friend. Mary Tan sells these cell protectors. (Her cell number is 0917-8737188.) And I have the phone shields. Bottom line is that our cellular phones transmit harmful radioactive frequencies. I can’t imagine life without my BlackBerry. But there is a need to “protect” oneself from the downsides.

Nature

This is really important. Every time I go out of town I feel like I get an injection of well-being. It’s being away from pollution. It’s feeling land energies that are healing and peaceful. We are so blessed to be in this country, where nature and healing abound. This is what I tell the people I relocate to Caluan from Estero de Paco: I point to the mountains, I point to the blue sky, I raise my hands and feel the wind, and say, “You are all so very, very blessed!” If you don’t have time to go out of town, there is the La Mesa Watershed. My brother Ernie, who is an Iron Man, says it has the best biking routes in the country. And we now have a new pool at the La Mesa Eco Park where you can do laps if you are after exercise more than recreation.

Meditation

Of all the things I do for health, this takes the supreme cake. What is happening to me is that I attend retreats twice a year — and then I meditate every morning, for a minimum of an hour. Regularly practicing to feel the energies of the Divine leads me to feel this when I work, and truly nothing can give greater joy than to feel God working through you, or to feel one’s angels around. Because what happens through meditation is a concomitant awareness of the beauty in other people as well.

Work

Getting involved in something that brings joy is a key to health. We spend much of our lives at the workplace. If one is happy, then that happy energy flows through one’s system and carries healing energies. It’s like being in love. When one is in love, one feels really healthy — because those “kilig” energies coursing through one’s system give one a natural high. It’s good to be enthused with what one does. Contributing to the web of life and love in a productive way is the way to live a life steeped in blessings.

Keep Positive, Be Humble, Make A Commitment To Inner Growth

We won’t live forever. By making a commitment to our own growth, by having the courage to see oneself and the bravery to evolve, we continue to raise the level of our existence. We don’t only leave this world more in tune with our higher selves but we will have made a positive impact in the reality that we have lived in.

* * *

Excerpt: "Can We Demand Anything from God?"

Here's an excerpt from last Sunday's misallette front page. I liked the article and so I brought the misallette home.

***

"Authentic praying is waiting, letting God be God to decide what is best for us, not enforcing on him what we believe is the best for us. We wait on him full of trust, appreciating his presence more than his answers. [...] When we show God that we are more interested in his person rather than what he can do for us then we truly develop a deep personal relationship with him, a faith founded on surrender and total trust in him, a faith which means friendship, a belief that Jesus walks with us and he is never absent even in our worst moments. To live like this is 'awesome'."

- Tim Melliza, SSP

Repost: Becky Hammon: A Portrait of Integrity

Beautiful article. Very true. That's why I love Becky Hammon.

***

Becky Hammon: A Portrait of Integrity

Hammon’s significance goes beyond basketball.

by Ben York

“There could never be a more beautiful you.
Don’t buy the lies, disguises, and hoops they make you jump through.
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do.
So, there could never be a more beautiful you.” – Jonny Diaz

When you visit Becky Hammon’s website, those are the words you’ll hear. They come from the popular song “More Beautiful You” by Jonny Diaz. As I’m sure you’ve gathered from even just a few lyrics, the song is about finding strength in yourself, being comfortable in your own skin, and always remaining true to one’s self.

Those words couldn’t describe Becky Hammon, and her journey, any better.

As anyone who knows Becky can attest to, she is living proof that believing in yourself can take you to places you never thought possible. Hammon has continually relied on both her faith and unshakeable sense of self to get to where she is at today – one of the best, and most recognizable, players in the WNBA.

Hammon is a living testament to where dedication, hard work, faith, and seizing the moment can get you. More than her play on the court, Hammon has created a perfect example for young women to follow. The constant mantra of negativity they hear growing up can be consuming and depressing. However, Hammon’s life is an illustration of hope and perseverance that girls can directly connect with.

“My faith is the most important relationship I have in my life,” Hammon said. “If you know my story, then everything and everyone in this world said I shouldn’t be a professional athlete. All the ‘experts’ said I’d never really amount to much in the basketball world, and where everyone else said no to me, He said yes! And He’s always made a way for me. So I’m just walking out the journey He set in place for me. Everyone is always very quick to point out my height and my quickness (laughs) or lack of, but God always assures me that He’s given me enough to do what He wants me to do. I love the song on my website, because once a person discovers the reason why each and everyone one of us is beautiful, it’s something no one can take away from you, because it’s a gift designed specifically and personally just for you! All life is precious. When you know where you came from, and you know where you’re going, the rest is just putting one foot in front of the other.”

It’s this type of attitude that the Hammonites (her legion of die-hard fans) respect and love so much. Hammon has always maintained integrity and dignity during the more difficult times in her life and utilized an innate inner strength to get by.

Becky is listed at about 5-6 – small even by WNBA standards. Hence, her journey to the WNBA was certainly a remarkable one, if not improbable. Playing high school in South Dakota, Becky was Player of the Year as a senior and was recruited to play basketball at Colorado State University in Fort Collins, Colorado. At CSU, she set a plethora of school records and had her jersey retired in 2005. Ultimately, it was her growth (in confidence and in ability) at CSU that truly propelled Hammon to stardom, and set the tone for her distinguished WNBA career.

“CSU was key for me,” Becky said. “Not only did I get great coaching, but I got valuable on the court, in-the-moment training. Coach Greg Williams and Tom Collen really let me play free on the court. Coach Will especially had a great X-and-Os mind; we always were going to get a good shot at the end of a close game. So I learned a lot under them both. And like I said, while other people at big colleges were riding the pine until their junior year, I was getting valuable experience on the court in game situations as a freshman. Honestly, I’ve had great coaching all the way. Ron Riherd, my high school coach, was a stickler on fundamentals. He told me if I wasn’t going to shoot the ball right, don’t shoot it at all, and he also yanked me out the first time I threw an around the back pass to one of my teammates, even though she caught it! I’m thankful for my experience at CSU and couldn’t have picked a better place for me. I had a blast and absolutely love Colorado.”

In the WNBA, Hammon quickly rose to prominence as a member of the New York Liberty backing up Teresa Weatherspoon. Again, through her continual dedication to getting better and beating the odds, Hammon won over fans and critics with her endless energy and exciting play on both ends of the court. In 2007, Becky was traded to the San Antonio Silver Stars and led them to the Western Conference Finals averaging 19 points and 5 assists a game that year. Hammon and the Silver Stars would win the Western Conference Championship a year later in 2008, but would lose to the Detroit Shock in the Finals.

Not surprisingly, the young woman from South Dakota who was written off by so many people was the driving factor behind the Silver Stars immediate success. Looking back, however, Hammon has realized that proving people wrong can sometimes be a losing battle.

“I will admit early on in my career I had a little bit of a chip on my shoulder,” Hammon said. “I was very motivated to prove people wrong. The problem is, when there’s no one left to prove wrong — then what? So, I dropped that approach a while ago. Every now and then it’ll rear its ugly head in my mind and I put the idea to rest immediately, because proving people wrong isn’t what motivates me anymore. I’m motivated to simply make the most of every opportunity that I have today. You’d be amazed how when you take care of today, tomorrow isn’t an issue! I’m motivated by being the best that I can be, not by comparing myself to this player or that player. You can’t imagine the peace of mind it brings to just be able to rest in being yourself. It frees my mind and heart up to love and better serve people around me.”

Perhaps no better example of this was the so-called ‘controversy’ when Becky decided she would become a Russian citizen in 2008. Hammon had a dream since childhood of playing in the Olympic Games and when it became clear that she wasn’t going to have the opportunity to play for the United States, another door opened – Russia needed a point guard. She had played in Russia overseas for a number of years, and spent almost as much time there as she did in America.

Of course, playing for Russia in the Olympics would inevitably lead to Becky being unfairly labeled as a traitor due to the two countries long, tumultuous history together. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Hammon simply followed her heart. Was she maligned for it? Yes, but she held true to her convictions and beliefs – something that takes an immense amount of courage to do on such a big stage.

“The whole experience leading up to the Olympics actually changed me as a woman for the better,” Hammon said. “It’s not always the final outcome, but the process along the way that builds integrity, perseverance, and character. I learned a lot. I go back to what I said earlier about God always making a way. His way and plan had so much more impact than what I thought would be my greatest moment as an athlete, standing on the medal stand for the USA, but it wasn’t His plan. He had a much bigger purpose and plan for me than I even had for myself.”

Some said the decision to play in Russia would tarnish her image of being an all All-American, hometown hero. Even some of her previous supporters in the WNBA had questioned her patriotism. In typical Becky fashion, she never once said a negative thing about her detractors and made the absolute most of her experience. She looked at it as a growing opportunity and as a way to better herself. It wasn’t so much about basketball, but about staying true to herself and standing up for what she believes in – even if not everyone agrees with it.

“For me it’s always bigger than basketball,” Becky said. “If it were just about basketball, well that’d be pretty sad and unfulfilling, and about to end in a few years. Instead I feel like my best years are still in front of me!”

As Becky stated, the recognition and accomplishments are nice but they only go so far in life. Even after as hard as she’s worked to get to where she’s at today, the more important thing for her is the example she sets for young women across the globe. Hammon always takes the time to sign that extra autograph, participate in a meet and greet after a grueling day of practice, and give back to worthy community causes. In some ways, Hammon’s journey has become less about basketball and more about self-confidence.

“As much as we’re judged on the court by our stats and numbers, the fans and teammates will remember us for a much different reason,” Becky said. “They judge with a different scale a lot of times. So, more than I want to be remembered on the court, I’d like to be remembered as someone who cares about her teammates and made a positive impact on the people that I’m surrounded by daily. Awards, records, championships, recognition — it will all fade eventually. They’ll be somebody new to cheer for, somebody new breaking a record, but when you impact someone’s heart – that’s the only thing that really lasts; and in the long run, the only thing that really matters. Lead a life of impact, not merely an existence in a moment in time.”

After over a decade in the WNBA, Hammon is still going strong. She’s been through some of the more turbulent times of the league and seen many organizations disband and others thrive. All the while, Becky has remained fervent in her faith and believes in the overall mission of the WNBA. She realizes that although it’s still a young league, people are going to need to change their perception of women’s athletics in order for it to truly take off.

“We’ve made great strides as a league, but I feel like we still have a long way to go,” Hammon said. “No doubt our game keeps getting better and better, and that is huge when trying to sell the product, but we’re also still battling generations of thoughts and attitudes towards women being respected as athletes. Until ‘Joe on the Street’ understands he can’t walk onto a court with a female professional athlete and expect to beat us just because he’s guy, and I’m a girl, we’ll continue to struggle to gain respect and legitimacy. The reality is there are some highly skilled athletes in our league, whether ‘Joe on the Street’ believes it or not.”

Although Becky has such a strong sense of self, it’s her altruistic views that really set her apart from other popular athlete’s. She feels the pain of others – it gets to her, it’s a part of her soul. Hammon’s dedication to the less fortunate comes from a completely genuine and authentic place.

“I am passionate, and I’m that way because at my core I’m very compassionate,” Hammon says of her work in the community. “If I see others suffering, it affects me; it moves me, it stirs me, it bothers me – and I’m motivated to help. If I have the ability to help, I want to help! That’s how I was raised; if someone needs help, you help them – just that simple. And I’m glad that I’m in a position to help many others. The saying is true – it’s much better to give than to receive.”

In regards to the Silver Stars, Becky is already thinking of the 2010 season. In spite of a fantastic individual season in 2009, the Silver Stars fell to the Mercury in the first round of the playoffs. With the Detroit Shock now in Tulsa and the Lynx’s recent trade for Lindsay Whalen, the West certainly isn’t getting any easier

“The West is always really competitive, and each year it just seems like the teams get better and better,” Hammon said of the fierce competition. “It’s really important to keep up with that trend. I think we need to get off to a better start. Last year, we struggled early on as a team and it carried into the whole season. We must find our identity quickly and go with what we do best and make other teams adjust to us and our style.”

In the end, maybe Hammon’s most appealing characteristic is her down-to-Earth personality. You never get the feeling of inferiority that you would with other professional athletes or that you’re in the presence of a celebrity when around her. She’s just…Becky, and that’s why so many people love her. They love her for her faith, her steadfast conviction, her passion, her inspiration, and her heart. They adore her continuous interaction with fans on her website, where it’s obvious she truly appreciates them. Still, don’t expect her to join the WNBA Twitter craze anytime soon…

“Nah, not at this point,” Becky said. “I barely email! If I’ve got something on my mind of any kind of importance I’ll do a blog, an interview, or something like that. Not so tech savvy here! Plus, I might blow the illusion of my life being so exciting.”

That’s Becky for you – friendly, passionate, and classy; a portrait of integrity.

Repost: The Happiest Years of My Life

I saw this article while having lunch. Lei was flipping through the newspaper when the phrase, "It's the School I Choose" caught my eye.

I browsed through the U.P. article as well, but I enjoyed reading this one more, probably because it was closer to home.

Loved this line: "Damn my school’s emphasis on introspection." Made me laugh.
It's true, I spent the happiest years of my life in Ateneo.

***

It's the School I Choose

By JAMES SORIANO

January 26, 2010, 11:20am

For two years, I’ve been waking up at five every morning to wade through Katipunan traffic, in the hopes that I can get parking in a space that’s not the cornfields.

For two years, I’ve been eating my meals in a cafeteria that gets too noisy when it’s filled with overeager freshmen.

For two years, I’ve been doing my homework in a study hall with a Figaro stall near the entrance, but I still get my coffee from a vendo that’s five minutes and a floor away.

For two years now, I’ve been studying in “the” Ateneo, and looking back, I can’t fathom why I picked it in the first place.

It wasn’t the pedagogy. While an Ateneo education is something to be proud of, I felt like I needed something different to broaden my perspective.

It wasn’t the company, either; the people are great, but I wanted to experience being in a different sort of crowd.

Neither was it the environment, which is so comfortable and easy, except that I wanted a little more independence, even adventure.

In retrospect, maybe I just fell for all the marketing. There were grand talks and grand presentations in imposingly large halls, and a lot of free food. And it didn’t hurt that I had an allowance each semester.

During my first year, I had no doubt that I made the right decision. Most things were easy to come by: branded coffee, free internet, an airconditioned place to study when the sun gets too hot. Sofas made for sleeping, a bookstore with a PowerMac branch (now an Acer store), and trikes for when I didn’t feel like walking. All these little extras that make a difference, I guess.

Now I’m in my second year, and nearing the halfway point of my undergraduate life, I find myself asking questions
about the bigger things, like if I picked the right course, if the environment is helping me grow, if I’m becoming the person that I want to be — things that I should have based my college decision on.

Sometimes it makes me feel queasy, uneasy and tired. Sometimes I find that the answer is no. But sometimes I feel like I’m overthinking it. Damn my school’s emphasis on introspection.

I’m at a point in my college life where it doesn’t make sense to think about whether I should be here. The fact is that I am here, and I should deal with it because to do otherwise would be a waste of time, effort, and money. Like most people, I had only one shot at making this choice, and I used it up two years ago.

Thankfully, there are reasons to stay. I can walk around campus at night and have nothing to fear but old men running in short shorts.

If I want milk tea, there’s a 7-Eleven in the cafeteria. Not to mention I get a discount on meals whenever I bring a baunan.

The bathrooms have tabos and bidets.

And whenever I’m feeling down or discouraged, I can always sit on one of the bleachers, or the granite steps leading to the Church of the Gesu, and take consolation in the fact that my campus is beautiful and made of red brick.

There are others, both big and small, but there’s one reason in particular worth mentioning because it sums up why I stay.

There’s this clip near the end of the film “Jose Rizal” which shows him being escorted to his death in Luneta. Along the way, he passes the old Ateneo in Manila, upon which he pauses and says, with subtitles, “I spent the happiest years of my life there.” It’s one of Ateneo’s favorite marketing tools.

Now I don’t know how much of this is Ateneo’s fault, but Rizal’s turning out to be right.
(The author is a second year BS Management major at the Ateneo de Manila University.)

Just Thought of Posting It

Was feeling sad since last night. Been out of it the past few days. Got a bit better and now this weird feeling is back. Was in a bad mood during the afternoon. Was upset, frustrated, irritable, angry. Texted Ai. Shared what I was feeling. She asked a few questions. I signed out to do some things. Signed back in, this is what I received.

Aileen Sy: (January 25, 2010 19:06:12)

I don't know if it means anything to you right now, but today I read "rise up and go, your faith has made you well"

Repost: 20 very easy tips for lowering your daily stress level (Plus other tips)

Was browsing Yahoo News, came across these. Pretty interesting reads. Good advice.

***

By Gretchen Rubin

Go to bed thirty minutes earlier than usual.
Get up twenty minutes earlier than usual.
Before you go to sleep, prepare for the morning.
Bring a hat and an umbrella.
Don’t wear tight clothes or uncomfortable shoes.
Make a list.
Listen to a favorite song.
Keep extra cash and stamps in the house.
Be polite and be fair.
Laugh out loud.
Have a good book to read.
Keep an extra set of keys.
Exercise.
Always keep your passport in the same place.
Throw something away.
Don’t say mean things about other people.
Put a Bandaid in your wallet.
Keep gas in the car.
Pay attention to someone else.
Make your bed.

***

There’s a lot of advice out there about getting good sleep; here are tips that work for me:

Good habits for good sleep:
1. Exercise most days, even if it’s just to take a walk.
2. No caffeine after 7:00 p.m.
3. An hour before bedtime, avoid doing any kind of work that takes alert thinking. Addressing envelopes—okay. Analyzing an article—nope.
4. Adjust your bedroom temperature to be slightly chilly.
5. Keep your bedroom dark. Studies show that even the tiny light from a digital alarm clock can disrupt a sleep cycle. We have about six devices in our room that glow bright green; it’s like sleeping in a mad scientist’s lab. The Big Man's new pet, a Roomba (yes, he loves his robot vacuum), gives out so much light that I have to cover it with a pillow before bed.
6. Keep the bedroom as tidy as possible. It’s not restful to fight through chaos into bed.

If sleep won’t come:
1. Breathe deeply and slowly until you can’t stand it anymore.
2. If your mind is racing (you’re planning a trip, a move, Christmas shopping; you’re worried about a medical diagnosis), write down what’s on your mind. This technique really works for me.
3. Slather yourself with body lotion. It feels good and also, if you’re having trouble sleeping because you’re hot, it cools you down.
4. If your feet are cold, put on socks.
5. Stretch your whole body.
6. Have a warm drink. Some people claim that warm milk contains melatonin and trytophan and so helps induce sleep, but in fact, a glass of milk doesn’t contain enough to have any effect. But it’s still a soothing drink. My nighttime favorite: 1/3 mug of milk, add boiling water, one packet of Equal, and a dash of vanilla. A real nursery treat.
7. Yawn.
8. Stretch your toes up and down several times.
9. Tell yourself, “I have to get up now.” Imagine that you just hit the snooze alarm and in a minute, you’re going to be marching through the morning routine. Often this is an exhausting enough prospect to make me fall asleep.

Re-frame:
Re-frame your sleeplessness as a welcome opportunity to snatch some extra time out of your day. I get up and tackle mundane chores, like paying bills, organizing books, or tidying up. Then I start the day with a wonderful feeling of having accomplished something even before 6:45 am.

***

This Wednesday: Six dodges for pretending that you're not gossiping, when you really are.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: Six dodges for pretending that you’re not gossiping, when you really are.

I’d never considered gossiping one of my particular faults. Sure, from time to time I said something behind someone’s back, but not often. Right? Wrong.

As so often happens with the Happiness Project, it was only when I made a point to quit this bad habit that I realized how ingrained it was.

By “gossip,” I mean “making unkind remarks behind the back of someone I know.” Saying, “Paris Hilton is trashy” doesn’t count as gossip, and saying “Elizabeth Craft is a brilliant TV writer” doesn’t count.

We all know that we shouldn’t gossip, so sometimes we try to disguise the fact that that’s what we’re doing. Here are some common dodges I know I’ve used to justify gossip:

1.“I’m just concerned.”
“I’m worried about her, she seems unhappy, I wonder if she got a bad evaluation.” “Those two never seem to do anything together, I hope their marriage isn’t in trouble.”

2. “I’m thoughtfully analyzing to my friend’s character.”
“Do you think he’s so arrogant because his mother pushed him so hard as a child?” “Do you think she spends so much money on clothes because she feels some kind of lack in her life?”

3. “I’m entitled to my opinion.”
“That party was too lavish for a bunch of six-year-olds.” “The hors d’oeuvres were terrible.” “He’s such a pompous bore.”

4. “I’m passing along information that a lot of people already know.”
“They’re fighting over custody.” “He’s gained at least twenty pounds.”

5. “I’m just relaying a conversation.”
“He said, ‘I’m thinking about quitting,’ and I said, ‘Can you afford to quit?’ and he said….” “She told me that they spent more than $10,000…”

6. “I’m not gossiping, you are.”
“So what did you think of what she was wearing?” “Did the CEO think they bombed the presentation?”

Here’s the test of whether something is gossip or not: if I wouldn’t want the person who's the subject of the conversation to overhear what I’m saying, I shouldn’t be saying it.

Research shows that gossip is actually an important social force. It strengthens social bonds; it’s a mechanism for the formulation and enforcement of values; it provides punishment for wrongdoers.

I’m sure that’s true. Gossiping really does make you feel closer to the people with whom you’re gossiping. And by talking about other people’s actions, you get a clearer sense of people’s values. There are occasions when gossip is appropriate. But often it’s just rude, two-faced, and mean-spirited.

Since I’ve cut down on gossiping (I can’t claim to have quit), I’ve noticed a change in myself that I didn’t expect: I feel less paranoid that people might be angry at me, or that I’ve done something wrong. I feel kinder and gentler. I feel less judgmental.

I did carve out a marital exception, and I’ll still say gossipy things to the Big Man that I wouldn’t say to anyone else. Is that progress?

This post was hard to write, because I’m ashamed to admit to gossiping. Maybe this confession will help me stick to my resolution.

***

Twelve Personal Commandments

• Be Gretchen.
• Let it go.
• Act the way I want to feel.
• Do it now.
• Be polite and be fair.
• Enjoy the process.
• Spend out.
• Identify the problem.
• Lighten up.
• Do what ought to be done.
• No calculation.
• There is only love.