Angry Thoughts

I don't normally like blogging when I am angry, but this may be one exception, I have to let this out because it is interfering with my plans for the night. I could probably just type all of these and not post it, but what the heck, I just really want to let this out here, despite the fact that the person involved will most likely read this, heck, I might even be the one to tell that person to read this once we have settled this.

I just find it so irritating how some people can just be so argschmaganoff. They get ticked off by one little thing and then refuse to let it go the entire night! Maybe they are just going through something, like they are very tired, so maybe they should be understood. I would have been fine with that, but one particular incident occurred which totally blew me off. I don't need to specify that incident here, but the thing is this, once you have broken my trust, it is difficult to get it back fully. Depending on your relationship with me, I might still be able to trust you, but every time that particular issue which caused my trust to break comes up, I can't help but be distrustful. I become suspicious and sometimes paranoid about it. I am not trying to defend myself here, I am just stating something that I'm pretty sure is normal and understandable.

It's just so annoying. The funny thing is, I was coming over to apologize and try to set things right when that particular incident which blew me off occurred. It could have been meant to be, I don't know. Anyway, I will confront the person and bring up these issues, most probably tomorrow. I don't know how that will go, but I am hoping it will go well.

I am still not totally okay, every time I think about what happened tonight and the way that person has acted, I start gritting my teeth and get annoyed all over again. It is totally preventing me from relaxing. I don't even know if I can sleep properly tonight! But I don't want to sleep with anger and that is why I am trying to let this out here. I want to forget about it for a while because I want to recollect my day, I met with my spiritual companion today and I want to jot down the points we talked about, I kinda need to be in a good mood to do that properly, this annoyed feeling that I have is certainly not conducive to that...darn it!

This will be bothering me tomorrow, I'm not preempting it, but it's one of those things that don't stop bothering you until you get to the bottom of it, that is why I am looking forward to my talk with the person that this post is talking about. I will also tell Aileen about my concerns tomorrow (I do not know why I am enumerating what I am going to do). Anyway, since I'm starting to talk to myself through my side comments, I guess I am in a better mood, although not yet totally.

...there goes my plan to read a few pages of PolSci...totally not in the mood for that. I will just jot down points during my spiritual companionship session, pray then sleep...(they are not showing women's olympic basketball, another irritating thing! I don't know why they choose to show fencing, boxing and beach volleyball; there are more entertaining sports such as gymnastics, swimming, basketball, not just men's but women's as well! How discriminatory!)

That is all for now. I will blab again next time.