Just a Nice Feeling

I don't really know how to start, I just feel real good right now. I'm in CTC 204 right now waiting for 3:30, for my Hi18 class, one of my favorite, if not my favorite subject this sem (Sir Tirol's the best!) Anyway, going back...I just feel real good right now. And some of my doubts or questions have been kinda answered. Maybe I'm not supposed to base it on feeling but it's just different.

When I got up this morning, things weren't that great...it was a bit stressful because I was cramming my Polsci paper and I kept on falling asleep then waking up to continue writing it. Then the cab I rode didn't take my usual route so the fare was a bit higher than usual (maybe it was a sign that today would be different after all...hehe)...I've been feeling pretty lousy lately, like tired and worn out. But for some reason, right now, I feel re-energized...maybe I'm just high...hehe..(you think?)

Well then came my Polsci class. It was fun. I got to participate in the constitutional convention, although all my proposals pretty much lost to other proposals, but it was fun...I wish the ammendments we made can actually be applied to our country today. It's funny and quite surprising how I felt kinda sad that today was my last Polsci class. I wasn't really attached to the subject. I kinda dreaded it because I could barely comprehend in class...although the last few weeks got real interesting for me, democracy and everything. I guess I kinda felt a bit bad too because I didn't give as much to the subject. Sir RR's real good, it's just that I had a hard time understanding him...so I guess that was why I felt sad...I'll miss the class and I guess I felt like I also missed out on the class. I wish I treasured the class more.

(Note: my OC-ness kicked in after Polsci class because I had to go back to the room to check if my paper was there to make sure that I actually turned it in)

After class, I was supposed to meet up with Isabela to study for Theo, although I wasn't really in the mood for it. By this time, I was kinda in grouchy mode, for some strange reason...well, actually I've noticed that I have been in grouchy mode lately...don't really know why...anyway there, spent a little time with Ai, Hans, Jen, and Nikki. It was Ai by the way who brought up the whole grouchy thing, she said, "Ang sungit mo ngayon...bakit?" I simply told her, "I know...I don't know why.."

I checked my mail and all while waiting...I got pretty bored...then when Ai had to go, I decided to go as well. I was gonna run some errands: Go to CMO, A shop, MVP, Guidance, (then decided to go to Placement as well), Chinese Studies Dept, Japanese Studies Dept, SOM Dept. to meet with Sir Carmelo.

So when did I start getting high? Well, I looked around A-shop for shirts...I'm kinda a freak that way. At this time, my whole deal of not buying anything for a month was in the back of my mind. Even though I already compromised that deal last Tuesday during the Bonfire, I was still debating on whether or not I will extend it since I broke it. My mind wasn't made up just yet and I was feeling bad about it.

Then I went to MVP to look at shirts just for fun. I tried on XS and S of the signature shirt that I wanted, then I asked kuya if they would still be there tomorrow. He said no, but he said he can keep them for me until I come back for them. I don't really know what it was but suddenly my confusion about my buying ban suddenly cleared up and I felt like I was legitimized to buy. Then I saw the other shirt that I really wanted, last piece (I sifted through the entire pile looking for sizes, I tried on M, S, XS. I thought I would be S but I was hesistant about the shirt because it had a stain; it turned out I'm XS anyway)...I decided to buy the shirt. I didn't feel bad about it. Like something was telling me that it was alright to buy. I learned my lesson anyway about splurging and I kind of established that I did not depend on material things to be happy, so there was no point in torturing myself any longer...it would just be pure meanness and sadism if do.

As I was walking out of MVP, I felt happy and surprisingly not bad for buying...I really expected to feel horrible...but I didn't...and then I thought that if Isabela had waken up earlier, our study session would have pushed through and I would not have been able to look at the shirts...so maybe it was meant to be...I don't know... =p

Then I went to the Guidance office and later the Placement office. I was happy and the people inside were very nice to me. Then Chinese Studies, Japanese Studies...people were still nice.

Then finally SOM Dept. Sir Carmelo was so nice as usual. It was actually him who kinda put on high I guess. He guaranteed that we'd be in the L'oreal class and he said that it would be credited in Hans' IB minor. I was pretty worried about getting into that class and I was really hoping that it would be credited for Hans. Sir Carmelo was just real nice. Everything just seemed to fall into place today...and so I felt real good I couldn't wait to write about it.

Now I feel energized to do my Hi191 paper later and study for my orals tom. I can't wait for sem break.



*** As I was walking across SOM, I was smiling and I thanked God for being so nice to me. Then I remembered that the other day I was asking him to let me know that He still loved me even though I haven't been so good lately (like I said I've been feeling pretty low and weary lately) and I just thought or maybe felt that this was His answer. And I could just imagine Him saying "I love you" to me...and so I smiled, made lambing, and said, "I love you too Lord..." ***