A Week Late

I've been wanting to blog...but things kept coming up, I just never found the time so this is a week late...it kinda sucks 'cause the magic's all gone now. I'm actually pretty tired, not exactly in the best condition to blog but I thought if I don't do it now, I'll never get to do it so here goes...

Last week was a tough week for me. I think I had three group reports and three papers, plus a bunch of readings. I think I also had one quiz. I remember being all excited about my busy week the Friday before it (2 Fridays ago). I was in the restroom right after my LS136 class, I ran through the things I had to do in my head and I felt ready to take on the challenge. I was pumped and ready...

But then...we baked for our bazaar, ended up sleeping at around 4:30 am, I couldn't fall asleep right away, had to listen to my ZEN to put me to sleep. Anyway, woke up around 6:30, so I had around two hours of sleep. Got ready for the bazaar, kinda woke up after taking a bath, stayed in the booth 'till the afternoon. I was already feeling tired and sleepy then...I think I was starting to feel disoriented too, that happens to me when I don't get enough sleep, I think it happens to everyone. Anyway, I just felt real messed up. Left in the afternoon around 3 pm I think, went home. Didn't feel like sleeping, played b-ball (my previous blog talked about this)....took a bath since I got sweaty. Was feeling real bad then. I was a bit upset I think, I was starting to worry about all the things I had to do. All the excitement faded because I knew and felt that I wasn't in the condition to work. All my energy was just drained...plus I was all disoriented and messed up so I guess I was a bit fragile then....my mom asked me a question and I kind of answered in a not so normal manner, I mean I might have sounded annoyed when I answered...I didn't mean to but I think I was real sleepy and I was trying to relax because I was panicking and having a headache, I was listening to my ZEN to calm myself down. Well, anyway, my mom didn't take my response so well and she got mad at me, said I was grouchy again when all she was doing was supporting me and all. I felt real bad, like that was the last straw, I was feeling so bad already and then that happened, I couldn't take the emotional blow...I was fragile, I didn't mean for any of it to happen. I just felt bad because my mom was mad at me. On top of that, I had a bunch of things to do and I wasn't in the condition to do any of them.

So I cried...I cried silently in the car and I tried to hide it from my mom. Finally when we got to church, I went straight to the adoration chapel and just cried it all out. I felt better afterwards.
My mom and I made up during dinner and I told her how I felt about what happened, how I cried and felt so bad because I was so stressed and then she got mad at me. She said sorry and I said sorry too.

Anyway, that wasn't what I was really supposed to talk about, although I think I said in my previous entry that I would do that. I just wanted to highlight how magical my past week was. So I didn't get much work done over the weekend and so I wondered how in the world was I going to get through all that I had to do. I can't exactly detail it right now, maybe I'll try to next time, but the week just went by and I was miraculously able to do all that I had to do and I did quite well. My group reports went fine, I think they were all good and quite pleasing to the professor...I gotta give credit to my groupmates, especially Kate, who pulled through for me...lesson learned from that I don't have to do everything, I don't have to carry the burden; I can turn to other people for help (actually I think in one of my talks with God that week, Monday probably, He told me that I didn't have to do everything). My papers were fine too. I got one back today, got a 3.7 (quite disappointed I didn't get an A though, but it's alright). I liked my history paper a lot, I might post the draft here or something, Cha said she liked it too. I don't know about my LS127 paper but I think it was pretty decent. I got an A in my quiz for that week, got it back yesterday. Still have a bunch of readings, but I'm getting there...managing at least.

I just couldn't believe I got through that whole week. I know God helped me...I mean, really, I wouldn't have been able to get through that week without Him and now that I think about it, the week seemed to have gone by quickly and easily. I remember feeling so happy last Friday or even Thursday evening. I remember telling Ai, "My week of suffering is almost over..." Right now I don't remember the suffering, although I know it was a tough week. I wish I could express it more beautifully and accurately, but I can't...the magic of the moment is somewhat gone, but I just really wanted to thank God for that week....He saved me...I wanted this blog to be a tribute to Him, but I don't think I did justice to it. I wish I could've written this better but this is what I've got right now, it's the best I can do for now...just really wanted to say Thanks Lord... :)

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Words just can't express how I feel right now...I didn't expect to feel overwhelmed again, but I am. I'm overflowing with gratitude.

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