Not Well

I'm not okay right now...although I think I'm doing better than I was a while ago. Feeling a mixture of things...scared, stressed, a bit of panic, sad, upset...just not well. Slept past 4am, prepared for the bazaar today...stop by if you can...La Vista Village, visit Legendairy Ice Cream Puffs and buy from us...that'll cheer me up a bit...we'll have another bazaar next week, November 29-30 then December 13-14 in QC Sports Club...

Anyway, I'm loaded with stuff to do...it's no joke...I was kinda okay with it yesterday, I mean I was even excited to be working hard again. I was still upbeat about everything after my LS136 class. But then I guess the lack of sleep got me. I just feel real tired. Can't function well without proper sleep and I've got to do so many things. It just so happened that my papers and reports all got scheduled this week. I've got three papers and two group reports. I'm not even thinking about my readings right now.

It's probably the lack of sleep, I don't even know what time I got up but I guess it was around 6:30-7:00 in the morning. It just felt scary. I mean I've been having this fear that whatever happened during my second semester in third year might happen again. I mean, I've been feeling a bit of pressure lately and I've been feeling like my old self again, the anxious and pressured one. The easy-going me is gone. But I guess it's just normal, I'm just trying to find the mean right now. Nonetheless, it scares me.

* my laptop keeps on acting up and it's freakin' want to blog...and I can't even do that peacefully...damn it! *

I'm just really not in a good mood right now and I need an outlet. I tried playing b-ball, it helped a bit, though I wasn't having a good shooting day either. I was trying to look for someone to talk to but people weren't available. I remember talking to myself and telling my basketball, "so I guess it's just you and me..." Felt better after accomplishing my ten-consecutive shots goal. I even did it twice just to appease me because after completing myfirst ten...

** Had to go to Church so I stopped...something happened on the way to Church, will talk about it next time, too sleepy right now...but generally better, still lotsa work though... **