Better

I just felt like I had to blog again to continue what I was saying a while ago...just to give an update basically...

I am better now. For the first time since the retreat I prayed with Scripture again. I used the Ignatian Contemplation in my prayer period before the mass. I'm not gonna detail what happened during my prayer period, that's for me and my journal...hehe...but basically, it went well. I felt a whole lot better after praying. God told me to "Come and see", I reflected on John 1:35-39...I was also able to realize something, I hate not being in control and not knowing things because it makes me feel incompetent and I hate feeling that way...it's something I could reflect on in the future or in the coming days (though I doubt it, I don't think I'll be able to thoroughly reflect on that in the coming days...I'll probably reflect on other things first. Then, He showed me something in the end, something I've been longing for or wishing for. What I saw did not completely take away the pain and the sadness that I feel but it gave me hope and something to smile about. Then I just talked to Him and He told me a few other things. So, thanks Lord.

So after that, I've been in a pretty good mood. Had a pretty nice chat with Ducky, a nice dinner in Savory Chicken Greenhills with mom, ma, and Ducky. Then went home. Bothered Cha, hehe...took a bath, fixed my things (I got all O.C. and I usually fix things when I'm anxious or feel like I need to undisorient my brain), updated my backup files, now I'm currently uploading pictures from my phone...I am actually getting some stuff checked off my to-do-list, it makes me feel good, but now I've got other things to feel good about like my prayer period.

Basically, the urge to continually do something is still there. I admit I'm not totally fine yet, but I am doing better. I'll manage, I just have to control myself...hehe....that's not easy... =p

** Blogging is part of my to-do-list, I mean I have some stuff I haven't blogged about...stuff that I just want to remember so I wanna blog about 'em...dunno when I'll get to do that, but I will...someday...hehe...hoping to try and enjoy doing the things I have to do....(there I go again with my "haves"....I should practice "coulds")...hoping to try and enjoy doing the things I COULD do. No pressure (at least try)...**

**I just remebered, I'm bummed out that the Spurs lost to the Celtics...arg...darn those Celtics...**