I read Sir Soh's reply to my personal message today and it made me feel nice. =)
Thanks Lord.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Nice Day
I woke feeling good yesterday. That's been two days in a row of good sleep. I woke up when my phone rang. Upon hearing the tone, I knew it was Hans calling me. He asked if he could drop by. I said yes without hesitating, I told him I hadn't taken a bath yet though and asked if that was okay. He said yeah.
I turned the TV on to guess what?...BTV...Hawks-Heat game and coming up was Lakers-Jazz. Hans called back, asked if I wanted to drop by Aileen's house. I felt excited, said yes right away and told him I would take a shower already.
After about thirty minutes, Hans came and we walked to his house. He told me I was the first friend that would be able to really enter his house...felt nice...we had breakfast, hotdog, pandesal, water. Talked while eating...I saw a picture of him in Hong Kong, I thought it was taken while he was still in grade school. Surprisingly, it was from college freshman year...I can't believe he looked that young then. I was fascinated. Another thing that fascinated me was their digibox...I asked him what additional channels they had, he said he didn't know because he rarely watched television...I was of course curious because we had a digibox too...for BTV...hehehe...
We took a cab to go to Ai's house. Arrived there after a while. We ate again. Aileen cooked chicken a la king. Hans and I were talking about that on our way. Found it special that Aileen cooked. We talked. We had not seen each other for quite some time. There were moments wherein I would just be quiet...like I usually am...I was just relishing the moment, the time with friends. It felt good being with them. I still had my problems in mind, but somehow I felt safe.
We went guitar case hunting then we went to Robee Stickers. After that, Hans and I took the LRT then MRT home. We talked on the way home...had a bit of a conversation about friendship and putting yourself out there...investing yourself in another person. We separated in Shang. I walked home and I was able to somehow talk to myself. It was a pretty healthy conversation with myself.
I couldn't get my mind off the topic of friendship and emotional investment though. Cha and I had a conversation about it and I realized certain things about myself. It felt good realizing those things.
I'd say I had a pretty healthy day in terms of realizations. I guess it took a lot out of me though, I fell asleep without watching NBA Live, preparing my medicine, writing in my planner, or blogging...I left my laptop on.
Memorable moments:
Sitting in the car with Ai and Hans. I felt tired and sleepy. I was just listening to them talk. That's when I felt safe.
Hans and I asked Aileen why she's not showy. It was a pretty cute and funny moment. "You never say you miss us...you never say you care...hehe..."
Talk with Cha. When I realized several things.
I turned the TV on to guess what?...BTV...Hawks-Heat game and coming up was Lakers-Jazz. Hans called back, asked if I wanted to drop by Aileen's house. I felt excited, said yes right away and told him I would take a shower already.
After about thirty minutes, Hans came and we walked to his house. He told me I was the first friend that would be able to really enter his house...felt nice...we had breakfast, hotdog, pandesal, water. Talked while eating...I saw a picture of him in Hong Kong, I thought it was taken while he was still in grade school. Surprisingly, it was from college freshman year...I can't believe he looked that young then. I was fascinated. Another thing that fascinated me was their digibox...I asked him what additional channels they had, he said he didn't know because he rarely watched television...I was of course curious because we had a digibox too...for BTV...hehehe...
We took a cab to go to Ai's house. Arrived there after a while. We ate again. Aileen cooked chicken a la king. Hans and I were talking about that on our way. Found it special that Aileen cooked. We talked. We had not seen each other for quite some time. There were moments wherein I would just be quiet...like I usually am...I was just relishing the moment, the time with friends. It felt good being with them. I still had my problems in mind, but somehow I felt safe.
We went guitar case hunting then we went to Robee Stickers. After that, Hans and I took the LRT then MRT home. We talked on the way home...had a bit of a conversation about friendship and putting yourself out there...investing yourself in another person. We separated in Shang. I walked home and I was able to somehow talk to myself. It was a pretty healthy conversation with myself.
I couldn't get my mind off the topic of friendship and emotional investment though. Cha and I had a conversation about it and I realized certain things about myself. It felt good realizing those things.
I'd say I had a pretty healthy day in terms of realizations. I guess it took a lot out of me though, I fell asleep without watching NBA Live, preparing my medicine, writing in my planner, or blogging...I left my laptop on.
Memorable moments:
Sitting in the car with Ai and Hans. I felt tired and sleepy. I was just listening to them talk. That's when I felt safe.
Hans and I asked Aileen why she's not showy. It was a pretty cute and funny moment. "You never say you miss us...you never say you care...hehe..."
Talk with Cha. When I realized several things.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Realizations
Like I said, I realized several things yesterday.
First on my way home, it wasn't really a realization but more of a conversation with myself. One of the things that Sir Ron shared with me during our talks was imagining talking to yourself. I forgot what he called the method. I imagined talking to the kid inside of me, the young Zy. I apologized for the times I've been harsh on myself, for letting myself down, pushing myself too hard, not giving myself the chance to pursue what I really loved. I feel like I've lost a part of me as I grew up and I've only been able to reconnect with that part during the retreat. I asked myself what do I really want...because I know the answer is somewhere inside of me. I think I buried it somewhere and I would need to help myself uncover it. It might sound a bit insane but it felt good talking to myself...to the young Zy...and I'm trying to become friends with myself.
For the past few days, I've noticed that I've been rather sensitive...I've been more open about what I feel to other people. In a way, I felt that I've been putting myself out there. It's a bit weird and scary because it makes you feel a bit vulnerable...divulging your feelings to other people, risk being turned down or laughed at. I'm not sure what's been up with me but I just noticed that I've been like that.
My conversation with Cha started with a question about Aileen. The same question I asked Hans...why is she not that showy...I guess the question came out because I've felt like I've been a bit showy the past few days. One of the things Hans said was that maybe she is not that attached. And so another conversation came into mind, one with Isabela, about friendship, attachment, and emotional investment in other people. Hans and I talked about that on the way home and I guess I couldn't put the topic to rest and so I continued talking about it with Cha.
In the end, I realized that I am looking for exclusivity. Isabela told me a couple of days ago that perhaps I was looking for a commitment. I told Cha I just feel like I have so much to give and to offer inside of me but I can't share it with someone. I told Cha that sometimes I feel sad and lonely because I feel like I always value other people more than I am valued. I realized that I was trying to look for exclusivity in my friendships...but it friendships don't work like that. Each friend has a different kind of relationship with another friend. It made sense to me why I would feel jealous of my friends' friends sometimes. I'm looking for someone to give me a hundred percent of their attention. I mean someone that you could just share everything with...I am able to do that with my friends...but I'm looking for exclusivity.
The other day, when I had a bad day...this was probably the reason I got upset. Suddenly, I realized that I didn't have that and as what Isabela said, I guess I freaked out because I was confronted with my greatest fear...being alone...Cha said, she doesn't have that same fear. And so I wondered, weren't we looking for the same thing? Then I realized that maybe it mattered more to me because of the way I grew up. I never had a complete and happy family...and maybe that's why I have such a big need for a certain kind of companionship. I've thought about this before but it made much more sense last night. A part of me is the way it is because I didn't grow up with a father. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's just somewhat liberating realizing some of these things. Somehow, I make much more sense to myself. But what to do with these realizations, I'm not too sure yet. But it was nice.
First on my way home, it wasn't really a realization but more of a conversation with myself. One of the things that Sir Ron shared with me during our talks was imagining talking to yourself. I forgot what he called the method. I imagined talking to the kid inside of me, the young Zy. I apologized for the times I've been harsh on myself, for letting myself down, pushing myself too hard, not giving myself the chance to pursue what I really loved. I feel like I've lost a part of me as I grew up and I've only been able to reconnect with that part during the retreat. I asked myself what do I really want...because I know the answer is somewhere inside of me. I think I buried it somewhere and I would need to help myself uncover it. It might sound a bit insane but it felt good talking to myself...to the young Zy...and I'm trying to become friends with myself.
For the past few days, I've noticed that I've been rather sensitive...I've been more open about what I feel to other people. In a way, I felt that I've been putting myself out there. It's a bit weird and scary because it makes you feel a bit vulnerable...divulging your feelings to other people, risk being turned down or laughed at. I'm not sure what's been up with me but I just noticed that I've been like that.
My conversation with Cha started with a question about Aileen. The same question I asked Hans...why is she not that showy...I guess the question came out because I've felt like I've been a bit showy the past few days. One of the things Hans said was that maybe she is not that attached. And so another conversation came into mind, one with Isabela, about friendship, attachment, and emotional investment in other people. Hans and I talked about that on the way home and I guess I couldn't put the topic to rest and so I continued talking about it with Cha.
In the end, I realized that I am looking for exclusivity. Isabela told me a couple of days ago that perhaps I was looking for a commitment. I told Cha I just feel like I have so much to give and to offer inside of me but I can't share it with someone. I told Cha that sometimes I feel sad and lonely because I feel like I always value other people more than I am valued. I realized that I was trying to look for exclusivity in my friendships...but it friendships don't work like that. Each friend has a different kind of relationship with another friend. It made sense to me why I would feel jealous of my friends' friends sometimes. I'm looking for someone to give me a hundred percent of their attention. I mean someone that you could just share everything with...I am able to do that with my friends...but I'm looking for exclusivity.
The other day, when I had a bad day...this was probably the reason I got upset. Suddenly, I realized that I didn't have that and as what Isabela said, I guess I freaked out because I was confronted with my greatest fear...being alone...Cha said, she doesn't have that same fear. And so I wondered, weren't we looking for the same thing? Then I realized that maybe it mattered more to me because of the way I grew up. I never had a complete and happy family...and maybe that's why I have such a big need for a certain kind of companionship. I've thought about this before but it made much more sense last night. A part of me is the way it is because I didn't grow up with a father. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's just somewhat liberating realizing some of these things. Somehow, I make much more sense to myself. But what to do with these realizations, I'm not too sure yet. But it was nice.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Fantastic End!
I just finished watching the replay of the Bulls-Celtics (Game 4)...man, it was one of the best games I've watched in a while. I haven't felt my heart race like that for quite some time. If my mom wasn't sleeping, I probably would've been yelling. But since it's late at night, I was constrained to silent movements in my bed. Double overtime man, 121-118. Fantastic. Go Bulls Go! Terrific end to a good day. Thanks Lord. =p
Will be looking forward to watching this as one of the NBA's Greatest Games.
** Just watched the NBA Live highlights...it does no justice...you have to watch the game for yourself. **
Will be looking forward to watching this as one of the NBA's Greatest Games.
** Just watched the NBA Live highlights...it does no justice...you have to watch the game for yourself. **
Smallville Season 9
I was surfing the net...decided to check for news about Smallville. Not too sure how I feel about a ninth season. I miss Kristin Kreuk on the show. Big Clana fan here...we'll see...I still have a few more episodes of season eight to catch.
The show has had a new feel and it's been a bit interesting. I miss the old Smallville magic though. And no matter what, it's Clark and Lana for me. =p
The show has had a new feel and it's been a bit interesting. I miss the old Smallville magic though. And no matter what, it's Clark and Lana for me. =p
Haha
"I'm feeling so good. I knew that I would. Been taking care of myself like I should. And not one thing can bring me down. Nothing in this world's gonna turn me around."
Hehe, just feeling good. Just finished writing my letter to Brian (sort of...I just have a few details to put in)...Isabela's on her way to L.A. Just kinda hyper here...haha...I do feel good. I like this day. It was a good day.
Thanks Lord. =)
Hehe, just feeling good. Just finished writing my letter to Brian (sort of...I just have a few details to put in)...Isabela's on her way to L.A. Just kinda hyper here...haha...I do feel good. I like this day. It was a good day.
Thanks Lord. =)
From Bad to Good
I had a bad day yesterday. I just had a real down day and my eyes really hurt before I went to sleep. The good thing was I was able to settle things before sleeping and I actually had a pretty good sleep.
I just wanted to share that I woke up at 4 a.m. to watch the live telecast of the Spurs-Mavs game (Yeah, I love my Spurs that much...=p) I also had to drink my medicine anyway. The first half was good and I was pretty pleased. I got sleepy during halftime and so I was fighting to stay awake during the third quarter. I just got pretty upset that the Spurs lost. I felt bad of course. I woke up early just to watch them lose. I was able to go back to sleep after the game though, but I didn't feel very good the rest of the day. And as I said, I had a pretty bad day.
I feel good right now though. I had a pretty nice day today. I felt good when I woke up...it felt too good to be in bed, it took me more than an hour to get up after my alarm...I kept bargaining with myself...hehe...I even watched a few minutes of the Bulls-Celtics game before finally getting out of bed (I was contemplating on waking up at 1 a.m. to watch the live telecast but I didn't want to be all sleepy the whole day, especially given the fact that I had a 10 a.m. appointment with Mr.Soh). So I got out of bed around 9 a.m. and I wasn't late for my appointment, I was early actually...hehe...
Memorable things that happened today:
1. I talked to Sir Soh. It was real nice talking to him. I didn't plan on doing so but I was able to share something with him. He told me some great things. I just had a real nice talk with him.
He taught me the Consciousness Examen.
Some memorable lines:
"You wouldn't feel sorry for something that wasn't important to you" - I never realized this.
"Don't be afraid to forget."
"Don't be too hard on yourself."
"Don't take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself sometimes."
2. I was able to catch Sir Strebel. Took a picture with him (twice) in front of the blue blob (I liked the blue blob). I talked to him for a while. I was finally able to ask him that question I've been wanting to ask him.
Memorable line:
"Why not?...it was honest, sincere...it wasn't off the point."
3. Talked to Sir Raffy Dy-Liacco. I was able to tell him about the dilemma I had a few weeks ago.
Some memorable lines:
"We have to respect freedom. It is a good."
"Apply what you learn."
4. Ran into Sir Tirol at the caf. It's always fun running into Sir Tirol. I miss his fun lectures.
Memorable line:
"What are you still doing here?...so you pretend to be a student, dress like a student...but you're unemployed." - hehe...if it was anyone else who said this to me, I probably would have felt bad...hehe...
5. Enjoyed my turon, banana-cue, and my walk to CEFAM.
6. Had a good prayer period in the chapel. Was able to do the Consciousness Examen, do my bible reading and just had a nice alone time. Felt peaceful, safe. Took pictures around the campus while waiting for my ride home. Just felt nice being back in school. Nice memories. Ateneo is a place where I can always go to find myself. It's a sanctuary for me. It felt good being in the campus. A part of me is ready to move on and begin a new chapter of my life, but it is always nice to come home to the Ateneo. It is a good place to think, recharge, and just be alone.
7. Carried the good feeling all the way home.
Just wanted to chronicle my day.
Oh...I was able to read this interesting piece about the Last Supper outside the College Chapel. It intrigued me, I went to the CMO to ask if it was true and I found out it was a legend. I also ran into Candice. I found out she was taking some English units for law school. It was pretty nice running into a familiar face.
I just wanted to share that I woke up at 4 a.m. to watch the live telecast of the Spurs-Mavs game (Yeah, I love my Spurs that much...=p) I also had to drink my medicine anyway. The first half was good and I was pretty pleased. I got sleepy during halftime and so I was fighting to stay awake during the third quarter. I just got pretty upset that the Spurs lost. I felt bad of course. I woke up early just to watch them lose. I was able to go back to sleep after the game though, but I didn't feel very good the rest of the day. And as I said, I had a pretty bad day.
I feel good right now though. I had a pretty nice day today. I felt good when I woke up...it felt too good to be in bed, it took me more than an hour to get up after my alarm...I kept bargaining with myself...hehe...I even watched a few minutes of the Bulls-Celtics game before finally getting out of bed (I was contemplating on waking up at 1 a.m. to watch the live telecast but I didn't want to be all sleepy the whole day, especially given the fact that I had a 10 a.m. appointment with Mr.Soh). So I got out of bed around 9 a.m. and I wasn't late for my appointment, I was early actually...hehe...
Memorable things that happened today:
1. I talked to Sir Soh. It was real nice talking to him. I didn't plan on doing so but I was able to share something with him. He told me some great things. I just had a real nice talk with him.
He taught me the Consciousness Examen.
Some memorable lines:
"You wouldn't feel sorry for something that wasn't important to you" - I never realized this.
"Don't be afraid to forget."
"Don't be too hard on yourself."
"Don't take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself sometimes."
2. I was able to catch Sir Strebel. Took a picture with him (twice) in front of the blue blob (I liked the blue blob). I talked to him for a while. I was finally able to ask him that question I've been wanting to ask him.
Memorable line:
"Why not?...it was honest, sincere...it wasn't off the point."
3. Talked to Sir Raffy Dy-Liacco. I was able to tell him about the dilemma I had a few weeks ago.
Some memorable lines:
"We have to respect freedom. It is a good."
"Apply what you learn."
4. Ran into Sir Tirol at the caf. It's always fun running into Sir Tirol. I miss his fun lectures.
Memorable line:
"What are you still doing here?...so you pretend to be a student, dress like a student...but you're unemployed." - hehe...if it was anyone else who said this to me, I probably would have felt bad...hehe...
5. Enjoyed my turon, banana-cue, and my walk to CEFAM.
6. Had a good prayer period in the chapel. Was able to do the Consciousness Examen, do my bible reading and just had a nice alone time. Felt peaceful, safe. Took pictures around the campus while waiting for my ride home. Just felt nice being back in school. Nice memories. Ateneo is a place where I can always go to find myself. It's a sanctuary for me. It felt good being in the campus. A part of me is ready to move on and begin a new chapter of my life, but it is always nice to come home to the Ateneo. It is a good place to think, recharge, and just be alone.
7. Carried the good feeling all the way home.
Just wanted to chronicle my day.
Oh...I was able to read this interesting piece about the Last Supper outside the College Chapel. It intrigued me, I went to the CMO to ask if it was true and I found out it was a legend. I also ran into Candice. I found out she was taking some English units for law school. It was pretty nice running into a familiar face.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Self-Talk
I believe in myself. I can accomplish great things. I have accomplished great things. I just realized this after I talked to my mom. Maybe it's time for me to step up. Put my skills to use. I can do anything I set my mind to. And maybe that's what I need to do. I know I can't do it alone though. I'm a great person and I know I've got other great people around me who can help me. Somehow I feel like I've got something to prove, to myself and to other people. I don't know if that's a good thing. But whatever I decide to do, I want to do it for the right reasons.
Anyone can learn anything. Anyone can master anything. I'm not stupid. Maybe this is the push I need. I can do it. I will accomplish great things and I will do it for the right reasons. I don't want to be filled with anger or hatred. I want to do what I do out of passion, love, and purpose.
I think it is time to believe in myself. I'm excited to learn. Yet at the same time, it is scary because I feel like I'm taking on a big responsibility. But maybe it's time. I'm old enough.
Be with me.
AMDG.
Anyone can learn anything. Anyone can master anything. I'm not stupid. Maybe this is the push I need. I can do it. I will accomplish great things and I will do it for the right reasons. I don't want to be filled with anger or hatred. I want to do what I do out of passion, love, and purpose.
I think it is time to believe in myself. I'm excited to learn. Yet at the same time, it is scary because I feel like I'm taking on a big responsibility. But maybe it's time. I'm old enough.
Be with me.
AMDG.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Bad NBA Day
I was kinda bummed that I was gonna miss the Spurs game because of my interview. One of the first things I did when I woke up this morning was open the TV and tune in to BTV. I saw the pregame show and I was able to watch a part of the first quarter.
When I got home after my interview, I immediately went upstairs and checked if the game was still on. It was wishful thinking of course. I knew I wasn't gonna be able to watch the first few quarters of the replay because I would be watching I Love Betty La Fea's finale. After Betty, I switched to BTV and saw the third quarter score, 38-70 Dallas. Damn, I was pissed.
When I woke up, I had a feeling the Spurs weren't gonna win but I didn't know it was gonna be that bad. I tried watching the game, but after a while I decided to change the channel. When I checked my mail, I saw the rest of today's results. Bulls lost too. The only surprise for me was the Jazz's victory. I was able to catch that game on Star Sports when I got home, but I lost interest when the Lakers started getting momentum in the third or fourth. I figured they would end up winning so I didn't bother watching anymore. Turns out, it was the only close game today. Both of my teams got blown out. Sucks. Bad NBA day for me. I know my teams will bounce back though.
When I got home after my interview, I immediately went upstairs and checked if the game was still on. It was wishful thinking of course. I knew I wasn't gonna be able to watch the first few quarters of the replay because I would be watching I Love Betty La Fea's finale. After Betty, I switched to BTV and saw the third quarter score, 38-70 Dallas. Damn, I was pissed.
When I woke up, I had a feeling the Spurs weren't gonna win but I didn't know it was gonna be that bad. I tried watching the game, but after a while I decided to change the channel. When I checked my mail, I saw the rest of today's results. Bulls lost too. The only surprise for me was the Jazz's victory. I was able to catch that game on Star Sports when I got home, but I lost interest when the Lakers started getting momentum in the third or fourth. I figured they would end up winning so I didn't bother watching anymore. Turns out, it was the only close game today. Both of my teams got blown out. Sucks. Bad NBA day for me. I know my teams will bounce back though.
I Love Betty La Fea
I just finished watching the Bettyful Finale. I didn't get to watch the show as religiously as I watched Maging Sino Ka Man. I only started tuning in every night around the time Betty and Armando got back together. It was different from what they usually do and maybe that's why I wasn't hooked right away, plus I got busy with school. But the show was entertaining. It was a light and feel-good show. I like how it promotes family and morals. I'm a big John Lloyd-Bea fan, they look so good together...at least the shows they do don't break my heart like Clark and Lana do. I just wish they end up together in real life, hehe... =p (why don't I ever get my happy ending?)
It's funny...I only understood the lyrics to the show's theme song right at the very end. I only put it together after Cha pointed out that she didn't get the words before. She thought it was "ang aming palabas ay hanggang dyan na lang..." I thought it was "ang magandang palabas ay hanggang dyan na lang..." It never made sense to me, I always asked myself why the song would say that. Then it hit me that the words were "ang gandang panlabas ay hanggang dyan na lang" ...hehe, it's ironic, I only got it when the show was finally done. At least I got it...hehe...
Well, I'll be looking forward to the DVD's. I hope they release them. I have all of Maging Sino Ka Man (Book I). I haven't finished watching it though, I think I'm in volume 3. I don't know if they're still going to release Book II. It's been quite a while since the first one was released. I hope they do though, I want to complete my collection.
Will be looking forward to more John Lloyd-Bea movies, shows, and commercials (I enjoy the Greenwich commercials...hehe...)...at least, even in a fantasy world, I somehow get my happy ending and I get enough love to keep me going.
It's funny...I only understood the lyrics to the show's theme song right at the very end. I only put it together after Cha pointed out that she didn't get the words before. She thought it was "ang aming palabas ay hanggang dyan na lang..." I thought it was "ang magandang palabas ay hanggang dyan na lang..." It never made sense to me, I always asked myself why the song would say that. Then it hit me that the words were "ang gandang panlabas ay hanggang dyan na lang" ...hehe, it's ironic, I only got it when the show was finally done. At least I got it...hehe...
Well, I'll be looking forward to the DVD's. I hope they release them. I have all of Maging Sino Ka Man (Book I). I haven't finished watching it though, I think I'm in volume 3. I don't know if they're still going to release Book II. It's been quite a while since the first one was released. I hope they do though, I want to complete my collection.
Will be looking forward to more John Lloyd-Bea movies, shows, and commercials (I enjoy the Greenwich commercials...hehe...)...at least, even in a fantasy world, I somehow get my happy ending and I get enough love to keep me going.
Writing
I was offered a writing job today. The job would require me to write Allied Bank's newsletter. Bottom line is the job would be all about writing.
I just realized today that I love writing and I've missed writing...that's why I'm blogging right now. But I like writing for myself, for leisure. I don't think I want the job, but I have a few weeks to think about it, then I'll call the HR department in case I'm not interested. It appears to be a pretty challenging job. I like challenges...but maybe not this one. I want to pursue something I am passionate about. I don't think I'm passionate about that kind of writing...I'm really not sure. I will think about it.
But it has been nice writing today. I've posted three blogs today, including this one...hehe...
I just realized today that I love writing and I've missed writing...that's why I'm blogging right now. But I like writing for myself, for leisure. I don't think I want the job, but I have a few weeks to think about it, then I'll call the HR department in case I'm not interested. It appears to be a pretty challenging job. I like challenges...but maybe not this one. I want to pursue something I am passionate about. I don't think I'm passionate about that kind of writing...I'm really not sure. I will think about it.
But it has been nice writing today. I've posted three blogs today, including this one...hehe...
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Fast and the Furious 4
I've got lots of other things I want to blog about, but I'm not in the mood for them right now. This is just a quick one. I watched The Fast and the Furious yesterday with Cha. It was a good movie. It made me want to re-watch all the other films (I haven't seen the second one though. I wasn't too interested in it because Vin Diesel wasn't there. Tokyo Drift was cool though). Well anyway, even though I liked the film a lot, I somehow felt sad after the movie. I knew I was because Vin Diesel's love interest, Letty, died in the early part of the film (according to Cha, it is the reason for the film's story)...but I wasn't completely sure why I was really sad. It bothered me for a while. Then a while ago, I realized the reason why I was sad. I think I felt real sad because the film was somehow about a tragic love story..at least that's one way of looking at it. Letty died because she made a deal with the FBI to clear Dom's criminal record. She did it because she wanted Dom to come home. That was a very sweet thing to do and it showed how much she missed him. The sad part is, she died because of it. The other part that touched me was that you can tell that Dom really loved Letty. She was the love of his life. He didn't look at any other woman besides her. He left because he wanted to protect her. He risked being captured by the FBI and dying just to avenge her death (this part I don't really agree with...taking revenge and all). The point is I got sad because theirs was somewhat a tragic love story. They both loved each other very much. On the one hand, that is a happy thing...loving someone that much, it's pretty rare I think. Theirs seemed like the love that would go on forever, even after death. The sad part is they're not together anymore...and what hurts more than not being with the one you love.
I didn't push myself to realize this, but it just hit me. I think this is also what draws me to Clark and Lana...great loves that don't quite end happily...at least not in the way I imagined or hoped. Perhaps I am drawn to these things because I somewhat feel that way. I'm hoping it won't be, but it feels like my story.
I didn't push myself to realize this, but it just hit me. I think this is also what draws me to Clark and Lana...great loves that don't quite end happily...at least not in the way I imagined or hoped. Perhaps I am drawn to these things because I somewhat feel that way. I'm hoping it won't be, but it feels like my story.
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